we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
