No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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