Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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