it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
