She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
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i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
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She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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