I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize