Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
