do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
