This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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