are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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