someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
