Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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