I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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