Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
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I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
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she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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