You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
