We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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