I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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