weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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