I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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