How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
