May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
