I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
