i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
