nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
