Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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