i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
