You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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