At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
