I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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