and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
