# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
