...so i touched it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Congratulations! We have a period
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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