alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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