i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize