on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
