I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize