I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize