i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just want nice things and good sex
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize