dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
