come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
