I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize