We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
