He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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