Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I can't turn off my feet"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Randomize
