bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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