you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
