I must be too annoying 4 u.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
