How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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