i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize