if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
