i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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