my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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