Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
