Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
