You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
