who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
